Have you ever walked away asking yourself, “I can’t believe what they’re going through?”
I have asked myself that question many times. How can someone carry such a weight? And often, it is the person you least expect. Would you agree?
Years ago, I met someone over a cup of coffee. I asked what I thought was an innocent question, and what I heard shocked me. This person appeared calm, composed, and emotionally well regulated. Yet beneath that exterior was a story I never would have imagined.
It reminded me of the words of Fulton Sheen: “Behind every face is a story.” Each one of us has a story. What so many of our stories share are suffering, pain, trials, and tribulations. We often have no idea of the invisible weight another person carries.
That is why, when we talk about change, we need to be mindful of people’s circumstances. It is easy to make assumptions or place unrealistic expectations on someone without knowing the story behind the face.
Some people are simply trying to survive, let alone change. Others are trapped by circumstances or burdened by painful memories they struggle to release. Too often we judge them. We label them. We decide, “They’ll never change.” In doing so, we place them in a box of our own making.
The reasons why people change, or why they don’t, are complex. I’m not suggesting that people shouldn’t take responsibility for their choices. They should. But perhaps we also need to take responsibility for the way we see others.
As Brené Brown reminds us, “I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”
Perhaps this is true not only for us but also in the way we see others. Before we judge someone’s journey, we need to remember that every person has a story, one that we may never fully know.
Behind every face is a story.
Dr Dom @ Counselling with Dom.